salam all
a reminder to myself first and foremost….
something for all of us to contemplate about:
I pray this reaches you all in the best of Imaan and health. Ameen.
There has been something bugging me for a very long time….
The issue of Muslim friendships: a whole new level…
There is a trick Shaytan that has and he has really used it well with the youth, especially in the west. What he does is confuse the believer by making him think he is doing something good, while infact the opposite is true.
This trick not knew and here is a story narrated by Imam Anwar Al-Awlaki in his lecture series about the hereafter:-
Barsisa the worshipper.
At the time of Bani Israel, there was a man in a small village, called Barsisa. He was, what you call, a monk. But he was a true Christian. He believed in Tawheed and believed Isa (peace be upon him) was a messenger of Allah. One day three brothers decided to go for Jihad. But they had a sister and they did not want to leave her alone. So they went looking for someone to take care of her. The town people suggested to leave her with Barsisa, because of his piety. So they went to him and when they asked him, he said, “I seek refuge from the cursed Shaytan” and said No! This was because he was scared of falling into sin ( due to the potential fitnah it may cause). Then Shaytan came to Barsisa in the form of Waswasah (Whisperings) . Shaytan is very smart and knew Barsisa had a soft heart. So he told Barsisa, “What if they can’t find someone good and leave her with someone bad, wouldn’t that be your fault?” Now Barsisa did not realise this was Shaytan whispering in his heart, and because of his compassion for others, he decided to accept their request and help the woman.
He let her stay in a house opposite the church. He did this so that it would be easy for him to leave her her food outside the church and she could come get it herself. But after sometime, shaytan returned. This time he told Barsisa, “Why don’t you leave the food closer for her, so that people don’t see her moving back and forth alone!” Barsisa agreed and started leaving the food outside the house. But shaytan wasn’t happy with this either, so sometime later, he returned and ask Barsisa, “Why don’t you go in and leave it on the table, so that no one sees her coming out and going in alone all the time!” Again, Barsisa agreed and he started leaving the food on the table.
Then as time went by, Shaytan returned and said to him, “Why don’t you talk to her, she is all alone and has no one to talk to!” Barsisa agreed and started talking to her from behind a door (so as to screen himself). But this would lead them to almost shouting to each other to here themselves. Shaytan asked Barsisa to just go in and talk to her, and finally, he (Shaytan) had got the alone in a room. Shaytan had completed the difficult part. It wasn’t after Barsisa and the woman committed fornication. And to make things worse, she also became pregnant. As soon as the baby was born, Shaytan returned, and said to Barsisa, “What have you done? Look at the result of your evil (ie the child), get ride of the evidence otherwise the brothers will kill you!” Barsisa killed the baby and buried it in the same room the woman was in. Shaytan then told Barsisa, “Do you think you can kill the child of a woman and expect her not to tell anyone?!” and So Barsisa killed her and buried her along side the baby! He then made a fake grace outside and when her brothers returned, he informed them that she died of illness. After seeing the grave and make dua for her, they returned home and accepted Allah’s decree.
Later that night, Shaytan came to them in their dream and informed them about what Barsisa had done and where the child and their sister could be found. The brother got up upset and confused, and informed his brothers of the dream, and they both said they had the same dream. So they believed that it must be true, and when and dug up the fake grave and found it empty. They then dug the placed shaytan showed them in the dream and found the child and woman!Furious, the brothers took Barsisa to the Leader to get his punishment. Barsisa knew that he would be given the death penalty. Shaytan came to Barsisa again, for the final time this time. This time he revealed himself and told him he was the one whispering the thoughts to him. And he said that he could save Barsisa, and as long as Barsisa makes sujood to him! Barsisa, out of desperation made Sujood to him , this confirmed his Kufr (disbelief) and Shaytan said to him ‘I am free of you, I fear Allâh, the Lord of the ‘Alamîn (mankind, jinns and all that exists)!‘ and left Barsisa was stonned to death and on the day of judgement he will be resurrected making Sujood to Shaytan!
So look how shaytan tricked him. He came to him as a friend, but was infact his biggest enemy!
(Their allies deceived them) like Shaitân (Satan), when he says to man: ‘Disbelieve in Allâh.’ But when (man) disbelieves in Allâh, Shaitân (Satan) says: ‘I am free of you, I fear Allâh, the Lord of the ‘Alamîn (mankind, jinns and all that exists)!’ (Al-Hashr 59:16)
Shaytan will never make you sin directly, he will always trick you using Waswasah and he is more patient than any of us. So we should always seek refuge in Allah from Shayatn. Never think you have anough knowledge or are strong enough to take on Shaytan. This is why the Scholars of Islam are the ones with the most Taqwa, fear of Allah. So reflect on the story, if Shaytan told Barsisa to make sujood in the beginning, Barsisa would have said no staright away, but Shaytan has a plan in hand it was a step by step policy that made Barsisa finally breakdown and commit Kufr.
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The lesson I want to stress on is that of taking Shaytan as a friend.
How does he mess up the lives of the believer? Well as you as seen above, he comes to you as a friend and uses your weaknesses. Many people say this story is old and irrelevant. So I would like to share with you the modern version, insha’Allah What happens nowadays is even more shocking. There was a sister who was very knowledgeable, masha’Allah, and she happened to meet this brother on an islamic forum (or chat room) and he told her about some thing tragic in his life.
At first she understood that she shouldn’t communicate with him (unnecessarily) and advise him to talk to a sheikh. But the more the brother spoke about the past, the more the sister worried about him.. So Shaytan comes to her and reminds her of this hadith
Narrated Anas: The Prophet said, ‘None of you will have faith till he wishes for his (Muslim) brother what he likes for himself.’ [Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 2, Number 12]
She wants to be happy, so she should wish the same for him right? But why should she care, she doesn’t know him, !!! So Shaytan comes to her and reminds her of this hadith :
Nu’man b. Bashir reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: The similitude of believers in regard to mutual love, affection, fellow-feeling is that of one body; when any limb of it aches, the whole body aches, because of sleeplessness and fever. [Sahih Muslim, Book 032, Number 6258]
So naturally she believes she should help him! So she starts emailing him and sending him emails with Quranic Ayats and Hadith. This seems innocent enough? Right?….She avoids emailing him too much and gets to the point very fast, because she wishes to avoid keeping contact with him.But Shaytan comes to her again and asks reminds her that the brother is in need to help/support, so she should email him more. He reminds her of this hadith:-
Narrated Abu Musa: The Prophet said, ‘A faithful believer to a faithful believer is like the bricks of a wall, enforcing each other.’ While (saying that) the Prophet clasped his hands, by interlacing his fingers. [Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 8, Number 468]
After afew weeks/months, the brother is finally feeling better. Instead of thanking Allah, he thanks her and says she is the one who helped him…
Shaytan comes back to her and reminds her of this hadith:-
The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) warned us against being alone with a non-mahram woman, and said: “No man is alone with a woman but the shaytaan is the third one present.” [Narrated by Ahmad, al-Tirmidhi and al-Haakim; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ (2546)].
So since on the internet, you are technically chatting alone, she gets worried. But wait! Shaytan has a solution! Why don’t you meet him in public? That would be fine right? Now she meets him regularly in coffee shops. They speak about the deen only though. Next Shaytan remind her about this hadith:-
Narrated Abu Wail: ‘Abdullah used to give a religious talk to the people on every Thursday. Once a man said, ‘O Aba ‘Abdur-Rahman! (By Allah) I wish if you could preach us daily.’ He replied, ‘The only thing which prevents me from doing so, is that I hate to bore you, and no doubt I take care of you in preaching by selecting a suitable time just as the Prophet used to do with us, for fear of making us bored.’ [Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 3, Number 70]
So she avoids over doing it with islam, and now they have chat about general stuff. Soon she starts worrying about how she looks infornt of him and starts buying new “flashy” hijabs for him.. Then Shaytan reminds her that we should love each other for the sake of Allah and reminds her of this hadith:-
Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, ‘Allah will give shade, to seven, on the Day when there will be no shade but His. These seven persons include…two persons who love each other only for Allah’s sake and they meet and part in Allah’s cause only…’ [Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 11, Number 629]
Technically the brother is ill right? Because he was depressed and thats an illness? Right? So meeting him for the sake of Allah should be fine….Shaytan reminds her for this hadith:-
Narrated Abu Muisa Al-Ash’ari: The Prophet said, ‘Feed the hungry, visit the sick, and set free the captives.’ [Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 70, Number 552]
So now she starts visting him in his house or room in university.. After afew months, she gets used to going to see him often and at different times…So one day he calls and says he’s abit “down” because of his memories of the past..She decided to go meet him and cheer him up (at 2am), afterall, he’s like a “brother” to her, so ther isn’t any real fitnah…Finally, when she is alone with him, and its late, Shaytan whispers his finally words into her heart. He would say, “Look at him, he’s so down, but look to good looking he is!! The best way to help him (and urself) is by taking advantage of the moment”Next thing she knows, the hijab is flung towards the door and in morning she realises what she has done and feels ashamed. When asked about why she committed zinha with him, her reply was “it just happened, I cant explain”
…………………….
That’s the modern day Barsisa, and trust me, it happens A LOT! And to everyone. The situation could be the other way (ie the brother is the one helping)
Why do we think that we HAVE to help our fellow muslim. Do we think Allah has abandoned them?The ending of this scenarios can be much worse! What if she gets pregnant? Then what? So whats the solution?
1) Don’t think you HAVE to help anyone. Allah is always with his servants and he will take care of them. Did you take care of her whne she was in her stomach womb? Or when she sleeps, do you take care of her soul!! No! you will never be able to!
So why do we think that person will never be okay if we leave them? I’m not saying we shudnt abandon them, but what you should do is make sure you recommend that person to the local sheikh. If she can meet him, then ask her to meet other sisters, or recommend some1, but if everything else fails and you’re the only one left, then help her. BUT use the rules of hijaab strictly!
Do not email her directly, always thru some1, or make sure a third person is receiving the emails. When the wives of the Prophet peace be upon him, used to speak to non mahrams, they would do it behind a veil, and they even used to wear the niqaab. So we should reflect on this. Keep the emails short and to the point. Do not reveal any personal details. So not give ur opinion, but give scholarly fatwas. But if your opinion is needed, make sure its based on sound knowledge.
2) don’t call urself a sheikh, unless you are one. Stress the fact that your knowledge is from the quran and Sunnah only, so if she should understand that any help she gets its from Allah and his Messenger.
Explain to her that even tho it may seem like you have helped her, the fact is that it was Allah who gave you the knowledge and hence you could send her the relevant info. If Allah didn’t give you the knowledge, how could you have assisted her???
3) remind her of stories like that of Ibrahim, peace be upon him, how he was alone and Allah because his friend…
So she will never be alone, Allah is always by the believers side.!
4) do not advertise sins. This is not part of the Sunnah. We shouldn’t sin, but if we do, we should keep it to ourselves and repent. Once you have done that, you should forget about the sin and move on with life
5) if you do starting to take interest in her, remember that you have no idea who that person on the other side of the screen really is, or even in realy life, why does he share this knowledge?
He is really just a stranger who is sharing with you quran and ayat that you should already know and have…
6) remember, Shaytan is patient and he will exploit ur weakness
Unfortunately this email is becoming too long.
So the point I’m making is that to avoid unnecessary communication with non mahrams. Barsisa was probably more stronger and pious then us, so don’t think we can outsmart Shaytan, because he has many tricks up his sleeves and had a wealth of experience!
Why seek help in anyone else if Allah is always with His believers?
And Allah knows best
Jazaka’Allahu Khayrn
Abida Malik
